June 25, 2008

Don't bite the hand that feeds

Oh, that I wish my two year old could UNDERSTAND.
So, two weeks ago, A. Lee decided to add biting to her repertoire of aggressive behaviors since Miss S. was born. Sigh. Scream. Cry. Help?
Seriously, I do not want to be the mommy that gets asked not to come back to playgroup or preschool, or for A. Lee to be renowned as the horrid biter of the clan.
There are a myriad of emotions I'm experiencing while dealing with this that pretty much moved me to embarrassing tears at playgroup yesterday. For those who really know me, yeah, you've seen me cry dozens of times, but for most everyone else...that side don't pop out that much. Meh.
So far, she bit our wonderful little buddy, Charlie..the ONLY boy in her playgroup and ALMOST got him yesterday b/c he wanted the same sand bucket she was using. I mean, come ON. A. Lee has been talking since before she could WALK. Why doesn't "use your words" work for her, then? I have no clue. I know it's a phase. I know I can't control it. I know it can be typical toddler behavior, and that some children have difficulty expressing and/or containing their emotions. I used to work with high risk kids, ya know...but, it's SO different when it's your own. I blame myself (but, not too much) for some kind of parenting I must be missing or something. I mean, trust me when I tell you I have read a ka-zillion books on parenting, and dutifully pay attention in our co-op preschool when it comes to discipline and positive reinforcement and love and logic and yada yada....but, something is not working. How many times can you love and logic your way out of biting without someone being bitten?
I don't really care to get into the whole discipline argument, and I was spanked and don't really feel like it damaged my self esteem all that much, and it worked for me...but, it doesn't always work for everybody...and the few times I have actually lightly spanked her, (about 4) I cried harder than she did (and no, not in front of her). I just don't think it will work, but we will see.
Isolation is the only natural consequence I'm in favor of and comfortable with right now, and no, not the solitary kind...the okay time to go, you don't get to play with your friends or toys anymore kind. Hopefully, her little mind will put two and two together, and we can rationally work through it together.
I guess to end on a positive note, it's a good thing my little Miss S. is such a good sleeper (already sleeping like 6+ hours at night), and is getting into a routine now, b/c we'll need to be here a lot more anyways. Hopefully, now that she's napping/sleeping much more, all that Mommy & A. Lee time will balance out this chomping phase. Otherwise, I'm gonna let Charlie bite her back.

1 comment:

  1. Okay, obviously I know nothing about this topic, but: don't sweat it too much. I know it's stressful, but I don't think she's going to do anyone any permanent damage. And I think your solution--no more fun time--is really smart.

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